Stealing

I should know better than to open my mouth and give anyone an idea. I was in a meeting today when my Deputy Manager claimed an idea as her own, when I gave her the idea in the first place over a month ago. But should I really be that upset?... There are a lot of little things re the Deputy Manager that are ticking me off lately, none of them in and of itself enough to say anything about. The idea stealing/credit taking, slightly sloppy work, minor dress code infringement... all of it petty, but I feel like there's no point in reprimanding if this person gets the position in the other department (the interview for that is tomorrow). Ugh, I don't want to think about it... I understand the reasoning behind it, and I support it, but that doesn't mean I have to like what it'll do to my department if it happens.

Happy day- tomorrow I'm floating around helping with the massive recruitment day to benefit FOH (and Sales too, hopefully!). Then I'm off ot the annual end-of-dark-period summer party, and then London the next day on a field trip. I'm actually really excited about that. I'll be the only one from Sales going (the rest are FOH management), but that's okay. And another thing to look forward to is my holiday in a little less than a month. It'll be good to spend time with someone I don't have to explain things to.

update

I'm not sure if I really have much to say that's new, but on the off chance that some of you are reading (are you? shameless, I know!), I thought I'd at least set down a brief note on what's going on...

It's really been a normal week. At work, we're gearing up for the start of the new season in a few weeks, I'm getting ready for my 6 month review- in two weeks from today, I'll have been here for six months already. I've been in a bit of a pout at my Deputy Manager because she's applying for a position in the Marketing Department. I've had a lot of staff turnover in my department since I got here, and while everyone left for valid reasons (death, more money, etc), I was concerned that I've been doing something wrong. When I mentioned this to My Boss (along with reminding him to schedule my review so HR didn't yell at him), he said I've been brilliant and it's nothing I've done. Next week is the Dark Party (dark= venue has no shows) where I get to practice my rusty social skills, and the day after that, My Boss is taking all of the managers/supervisors of his department (Sales and Front of House/Catering) on a team-building day to London where we might even get to see something that's on in the West End. It's only going to be me from Sales, though, because Supervisor is on holiday, and Deputy Manager has a scheduling conflict (good- if she wants to defect, she shouldn't get to come on fun outings!). I'm really happy I'm the last one to take holiday time this summer, because I won't have to worry about covering for anyone else after I get back... Next summer I want to go somewhere spectacular- maybe Australia. But first comes the week I'm going to have to take in Februrary or March to use up most of the rest of my time- I'm looking at spending a week on the beach somewhere. It's looking like Spain at the moment, but I wouldn't count out anything else. It all depends on the kind of deal I can get through a travel agent.

See, really boring, just like I promised :-)

America, I'm unsure

I'm not sure what to think, really. I was so happy to be back in the Desert Southwest, yet I longed to be back in England, where things weren't so foreign. Being in New York also made me happy, but for other reasons (having nothing to do with family). My Boss said that New York is his spiritual home, and I totally understand that. Being there, I felt more alive than I did in Paris, or Berlin, or London. It was nice to be in the city I love with someone who feels the same way...

It was weird spending so much time with people I'd only known at work. But we didn't kill each other at all, and I feel like I got to know them much better (however, I'm not sure I liked hearing some of the inside stuff going on at the Exec Mgmt. level where I work, and hearing them talk of moving on someday (not imminently, I presume, since My Boss has only been there a year or so)). And I'd hang with my Boss outside of work any day of the week. We did a lot of shopping together, and it was really cool, because there was no chance that we'd both end up liking and buying the same thing (which can be a problem from time to time!). We might even go to London someday, who knows!

But the really important things I learned this week are that as much as America has given me, I think I like England better right now. I got tired pretty quickly of the loud, obnoxious Americans who wouldn't just say their piece and let it go, and kept yammering away about it, and asking stupid questions (I'm sorry, but if someone asked a question, it was answered, and then you ask it again, that makes you stupid). In between sessions and dinner one night, my Boss and I were sitting on the terrace at the hotel sipping cocktails, and he mentioned to me how I've got it made when I decide to go back to the United States because of A) working in England in the first place, and B) because of how we're kind of on the front edge of changing how tickets are being sold and managed. As flattering and as positive as that was, I still took exception to it in my head- who said I wanted to go back, you know? But it wasn't meant as a "you'd better watch your back..." move (though I still do), because he'd said a number of complementary things about me to other people, some of them pretty high up on the food chain in America (he didn't know who they were :-P). And it wasn't like "oh, she's really good, she works hard." It was more "she's really good, she works hard AND we're lucky to have her."

I think if I had the opportunity to visit America when I wanted, I'd be perfectly happy here in England. And it looks as if I might have that option, because if anyone goes to the conference again, the Boss said it would be me (and he's the project leader for it in our theatre).

The only thing that made me unhappy on the whole trip (other than spending time with family and feeling I was missing out on something else) was the thought that I was coming home to an empty flat. Both the Boss and the Marketing Director had someone to call home to... I know I bitch about it all the time, and it's my fault because I haven't done something about it yet. I'm still scared. But anyway... I was sitting in JFK waiting for the other two to show up so we could board the flight back to London, and I must've had a really bad look on my face because my Boss asked me what was wrong. And I remember having a hard time keeping my face arranged, and the Boss told me it was okay to be sad to be leaving America. That wasn't the reason I was sad at all, but it was better left unexplained, you know? I still got a hug out of it.

So I'm still not sure what to think. I know I can love different places deeply for different reasons (the Southwest and New York, for example), but does that mean I can do that for two entirely different countries?

No Sleepy

I got back from my trip to Arizona and New York yesterday morning, and I'm still quite groggy. It definitely wasn't a pleasure trip, though I had the most amazing time, for the most part. In fact, the part of the trip I liked the least was spending time with my parents. I felt like I was missing things because I wasn't in Manhattan with My Boss and the Marketing Director. Besides, nothing has changed with my parents- one is still overbearing and loud and sometimes insulting, and the other one is quiet and manages to put up with all of it. I couldn't deal with the incessant bickering, and told them to can it more than once, which just made one of them mad.

Anyway... the reason for lack of sleep is because I didn't get much last week! I was up for 24 hours on Saturday while I was travelling from Northampton to Tucson and then got maybe five hours of sleep. Then each night during the conference, I would go to sleep between 10pm and midnight, and would wake up at 3am (body clock thing- everyone else from the UK was waking up at the same time!), then roll over and go back to bed until I had to get up at 6am, give My Boss a wake-up call, then go swimming with him at 6:30am. Then a networking breakfast, sessions, lunch, more sessions, 15 minute afternoon break, more sessions, networking dinner and receptions that didn't end until 10pm. Doing that for four days was hard. I don't know how I managed to be "on" all that time... being around that many people, and having to present a face for that long is draining. But lots and lots was learned, and I ran into a number of old colleagues, and met a bunch of UK users who were new to me.

So there was an endless week of Conference, then a midnight flight out of Tucson on Thursday night on which i got ZERO sleep, didn't get a chance to shower until 3.3opm on Friday, and didn't get to bed until 1am Friday night/Saturday morning. That means I was up without sleep nearly 48 hours. And I didn't get tons of sleep the rest of the weekend- about 6 on Saturday night, and 2.5 or so on the plane back to London. After I got back to my flat, I forced myself to sit and eat some lunch because I couldn't remember the last time I ate, and I actually fell asleep while I was eating! I'd never done that before! Needless to say, work was a little difficult today (and My Boss slept through TWO alarm clocks, and didn't make it in until lunchtime). But all will be well once I restore normal habits.

More on actual thoughts on Conference and going back to America shortly...

Is it time to go yet?

I'm getting really wound up about leaving to go to America for The Conference. It's not really about seeing my parents, and getting to spend some time in New York again. A good portion of it has to do with coming to the realisation that I *have* done a lot, and I've risen fairly quickly in my field. And presenting at The Conference is evidence of that.

I think a bit of it also has to do with going to this thing with my fellow coworkers who are British, and seem to be a lot moer scared about what to expect out of this than I am. They're not used to the American way of networking, and the fact that I'll know so many more people than they will, and that I'm being looked at as the expert (out of the three of us, and I'm the youngest)... of course I'm being tormented and threatened with having to push the luggage cart the whole time, and having to sit in the middle seat on the plane because I'm the most junior of the crew, but... it's all in good fun, and I'm looking forward to spending time with these people I'm going with.

Ok, I have to mention this because some of you will think it's hilariously typical (in a not at all funny kind of way, if you know what I mean). I wander into the office a little before noon with cup of coffee in hand, and ready to start getting things together before I leave for a week. I just sit down at my desk when the box office admin girl said that Deputy and Supervisor were in the cafe, because she'd just gotten test results back on a family member's condition. So I head up to the cafe, and the news isn't good. We're not sure how 'not good' yet, but it's not good. So after some sniffles and hugs and orders to go home and take care of things, Supervisor leaves.

I go back to my desk. I had just pulled out a stack of papers to work on when a couple of maintenance men (external ones, not the usual crew) go into the telesales office to look at a radiator that hasn't been working properly. One is kneeling on the floor. He'd just banged a couple of things when all of a sudden... yup, you guessed it. It was like a fire hydrant had been knocked over. The water was EVERYWHERE. What kind of moron didn't turn off the mains water? So dumbass maintenance man is holding his hand on a pipe, and it's like sticking a finger in the Hoover dam. Three people ran for House Management or the Operations manager (whoever they saw first), another two went looking for towels, and I'm herding the rest to the counter out front so they can continue selling tickets. After I get them squared away out front, I go back to the telesales room, and there's water that's nearly an inch high in a corner. I'm crawling around under desks picking up computers off the floor so they don't short circuit. What happens next? One of the tech guys comes down with a small refrigerator that he'd found (because we said we wanted one if it wasn't being used). So not a good time! Eventually people come and are able to stem the flow of water. They leave, mumbling something about getting a wet hoover (shop vac). They fail to turn up for 20 minutes. Some people are using towels borrowed from wardrobe to start sopping up water, and I'm going back and forth between the front counter and the telesales office. On one of my trips back to telesales, I actually look around, and the place is a mess. There's dirty water all over the desks and keyboards, water splashed on the wall, and there's even water on the ceiling. And then my boss comes down the hall (not knowing what had happened) shouting (well, not shouting, but talking loud enough that i could hear him before I saw him), "guess what I have for you!" He takes a look at me, and I give him a death stare and point to the telesales office. He peeks in and then says "Ok. I think I'll leave you alone now."

Thinking about it now it's really funny, but it wasn't funny right after the drama I'd had first thing. And I'm sure it will not be funny again when the floor under the carpet starts to get moldy. But, what am I going to do, you know?

One last thing (because it's way late, and I need to get to bed). I've noticed that the closer I get to going back to America, the more I act like an American. I'm using American phrases, talking faster, and sometimes in that annoying/arrogant "I'm an American and you're not so I know better" way (in jest, though). Which makes me think two things. One, that I really am excited to be going. But two, have I become that much of an Anglophile that being what I was isn't normal for me anymore? ...