Within the past week, I've really noticed how much my vocabulary has changed, and how I say words. One of the Sales Advisors had a few coupons that a customer redeemed, and asked me if I wanted them. I told him "you can just bin them." I also use the word 'rubbish' a bit (as in stupid, a load of crap, dumb, idiotic). And, I think I use the word 'lovely' too often.
The scarier thing is the pronounciation. Last week, I poked my head into the telesales office to make sure nobody was goofing off excessively, and said something to one of the advisors, and they said "are you speaking English now? you just said that whole sentence like one of us!" Of course, I don't remember what came out of my mouth, but... Even worse is this- a few of us were moaning about having to go to the grocery store because we had nothing to eat at our homes. One person said they had a can of tinned tomatoes, and that was about it. I commiserated, and added, "yeah, I've got a bag of pasta and a can of crushed tomatoes." Except that I started to say 'toe-MAH-toe' instead of 'toe-MAY-toe'. And then I couldn't figure out what to say!
My first visitor (of sorts) is coming next Friday. The person who gave me the lead on the job here will be in town, and will be stopping by the office (as part of his job), and asked if I would be around. It'll be interesting to see what this guy has to say, because he's seen me at my former job, and knows how miserable I was. Hopefully, he'll be able to tell a difference ;-)
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Pictures
I can't believe I'm so organised- I have the pictures I took in Berlin uploaded already! I thought I'd share them with you while I'm pondering deep thoughts about the weekend...
You all know how impressed I am with Zoo Berlin... I thought this was cute.
This is the famous polar bear, Knut. His mother abandoned him at birth and now he is a diva because everyone pays so much attention to him because they feel bad. Turns out Knut is a bully as well. There is some kind of brown bear named Ernst who was born at the same time, and nobody knows about him because of all the Knut publicity. I have no pictures of Ernst because he was hiding.
This church was bombed out in World War II. You can't see because of the tree, but the top of the steeple is missing...
The Brandenburg Gate. To the left, just out of the picture, the American Embassy is being built (rebuilt?), and to the right, the French Embassy. Napoleon stole the statue on the top, but then it was taken back. The goddess in the chariot was named Irene, goddess of peace, but then her name changed to Victoria. If you're up close, you can see that the goddess's head is inclined, watching the French Embassy.
Need I say more?
You all know how impressed I am with Zoo Berlin... I thought this was cute.
This is the famous polar bear, Knut. His mother abandoned him at birth and now he is a diva because everyone pays so much attention to him because they feel bad. Turns out Knut is a bully as well. There is some kind of brown bear named Ernst who was born at the same time, and nobody knows about him because of all the Knut publicity. I have no pictures of Ernst because he was hiding.
This church was bombed out in World War II. You can't see because of the tree, but the top of the steeple is missing...
The Brandenburg Gate. To the left, just out of the picture, the American Embassy is being built (rebuilt?), and to the right, the French Embassy. Napoleon stole the statue on the top, but then it was taken back. The goddess in the chariot was named Irene, goddess of peace, but then her name changed to Victoria. If you're up close, you can see that the goddess's head is inclined, watching the French Embassy.
Need I say more?
Monday, 18 June 2007
Destination: Berlin
Yes, the adventure for June was going to Berlin this past weekend. Living where an hour and a half flight will take you to a dozen different countries, at a cost that is super reasonable, why shouldn't I have my fun?
I really liked Berlin, but for totally different reasons than why I liked Paris. I think it has to do with the friendliness of the people. I would feel completely comfortable going back, by myself, not knowing a word of English. Most everyone speaks at least a little English, and if they don't, they don't seem to mind when you try your best to speak German. In France, I felt like people would laugh at me if I tried my French (which is decent, all things considered). It felt like the Germans were less stuck up than the French. Though it could've just been the area I was in, in the East.
One odd thing that just popped into my head- I don't think I saw one black person in the four days I was there. Weird...
This was more of a hanging out with my friend trip than a sightseeing trip. We went to a fabulous restaurant on Friday night, called White Trash. It was a burgers and beer place, but damn, the food was good, and the ambiance was great. Totally kitschy decor, and the menu made me laugh so hard I stole it. One of the things on there: "Chips and salsa free. Unless you're a cunt, and then we'll charge you 10 Euros." Friend of MyFriend joined us halfway through dinner, then we all went to a park called "the Watertower", or something like that, because of some really old stone towers and water well things. We climbed up to the top of the hill, onto a structure (flat, covered in bricks- don't worry), and spent an hour laying back, looking at the stars. It was a surreal experience, because here we were, in a park where the SS used to have their internal jail, and we were looking at the stars. And lightning was flashing off somewhere, but there was no thunder. We eventually climb down and decide to go home. On the other side of the park are trampolines built into the ground. So much fun! As soon as we leave the park gates, it starts pouring, and keeps it up for the 10 minute walk home. But it was fun.
Saturday we did some shopping. Lots of fun stores in the neighborhood. I think we did something else on Saturday, but can't really remember. Oh well. My Friend was going to take me on an official tour of Berlin (she was an English-speaking tourguide for a year), but we were exhausted.
Sunday was jam-packed. Up at 8am to help friends set up at a flea market, then we went to the zoo. I think the zoo in Berlin beats out the San Diego zoo, but it's a close call. Still doesn't beat the Bronx Zoo, but... :-) I saw Knut, the baby polar bear that everyone was obsessed with. I think it has to do with his mother rejecting him as a baby. Because of all the attention he's recieved, Knut's turned into a diva. He definitely knows people are watching him. And they have to work crowd control around the exhibit. My Friend and I got separated as we were waiting in line to see him, so I continued on my way past, then went to double back and find her. But some German police-type person was really mean and told me I couldn't go back in that way, under any circumstance. I called him a really nasty and politically incorrect name, but only in my head.
After the zoo, we went on an abbreviated tour, to Potsdamer Platz and the Brandenberg Gate area. In Berlin, there's a line of bricks in the streets wherever the Wall used to stand. Kinda weird. Anyway, Potsdamer Platz looks nothing like it did before the Wall came down. Back then, it looked kinda like a wasteland, but now, there are huge buildings. I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that all of the buildings I was seeing were not in existence 12 years ago.
For some reason, I expected the Brandenberg gate to be a freestanding monument with nothing nearby for like 100 feet. Not the case. The American Embassy is being built (rebuilt?) on the left side of it, and something else is on the right. It was one of those things like the Eiffel Tower- a little surreal to see, and possibly disappointing, but not really.
On the way back to the train we stopped at something I noticed on the way to the Gate (My Friend said she would explain on the way back). I saw a lot of what looked like stone/smooth concrete coffins, almost. Turns out it was the Memorial to the Six Million Jews Who Died in the Holocaust. The site is the size of two soccer fields, and has over 2,000 stone slabs set into the ground at varying heights. The ground is also uneven, so there is a part where you are walking down, and the stones are getting taller and taller. I felt a lot of different things, not all of them the best, but having My Friend the tourguide (who is Jewish) helped me put perspective on things, once I had come to my own conclusions. She went straight to the other side, and let me wander around as long as I needed to. We then had a discussion about why the monument is what it is, what others think of it, and things like that. The most shocking thing I heard was that they began putting some anti-graffiti compound on the stones (because it's not a walled, armed-guarded monument) but then stopped when someone found out that the makers of the compound were the same makers of Zyklon-B. The company donated the rest of the anti-graffiti free of charge. It showed that good things do come out of bad (it wasn't their fault- there was nothing in the company's records to show...).
We did a little more shopping on Monday morning, then I caught a train home.... I did so much walking over the weekend, and it felt really good, actually. I was really glad I went while My Friend was still living there, and now I feel completely confident that I can go back by myself and have a fantastic time. Seeing as how I just got back tonight from Berlin, this post seems mostly descriptive, and not reflective. Reflection may come in the coming days...
I really liked Berlin, but for totally different reasons than why I liked Paris. I think it has to do with the friendliness of the people. I would feel completely comfortable going back, by myself, not knowing a word of English. Most everyone speaks at least a little English, and if they don't, they don't seem to mind when you try your best to speak German. In France, I felt like people would laugh at me if I tried my French (which is decent, all things considered). It felt like the Germans were less stuck up than the French. Though it could've just been the area I was in, in the East.
One odd thing that just popped into my head- I don't think I saw one black person in the four days I was there. Weird...
This was more of a hanging out with my friend trip than a sightseeing trip. We went to a fabulous restaurant on Friday night, called White Trash. It was a burgers and beer place, but damn, the food was good, and the ambiance was great. Totally kitschy decor, and the menu made me laugh so hard I stole it. One of the things on there: "Chips and salsa free. Unless you're a cunt, and then we'll charge you 10 Euros." Friend of MyFriend joined us halfway through dinner, then we all went to a park called "the Watertower", or something like that, because of some really old stone towers and water well things. We climbed up to the top of the hill, onto a structure (flat, covered in bricks- don't worry), and spent an hour laying back, looking at the stars. It was a surreal experience, because here we were, in a park where the SS used to have their internal jail, and we were looking at the stars. And lightning was flashing off somewhere, but there was no thunder. We eventually climb down and decide to go home. On the other side of the park are trampolines built into the ground. So much fun! As soon as we leave the park gates, it starts pouring, and keeps it up for the 10 minute walk home. But it was fun.
Saturday we did some shopping. Lots of fun stores in the neighborhood. I think we did something else on Saturday, but can't really remember. Oh well. My Friend was going to take me on an official tour of Berlin (she was an English-speaking tourguide for a year), but we were exhausted.
Sunday was jam-packed. Up at 8am to help friends set up at a flea market, then we went to the zoo. I think the zoo in Berlin beats out the San Diego zoo, but it's a close call. Still doesn't beat the Bronx Zoo, but... :-) I saw Knut, the baby polar bear that everyone was obsessed with. I think it has to do with his mother rejecting him as a baby. Because of all the attention he's recieved, Knut's turned into a diva. He definitely knows people are watching him. And they have to work crowd control around the exhibit. My Friend and I got separated as we were waiting in line to see him, so I continued on my way past, then went to double back and find her. But some German police-type person was really mean and told me I couldn't go back in that way, under any circumstance. I called him a really nasty and politically incorrect name, but only in my head.
After the zoo, we went on an abbreviated tour, to Potsdamer Platz and the Brandenberg Gate area. In Berlin, there's a line of bricks in the streets wherever the Wall used to stand. Kinda weird. Anyway, Potsdamer Platz looks nothing like it did before the Wall came down. Back then, it looked kinda like a wasteland, but now, there are huge buildings. I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that all of the buildings I was seeing were not in existence 12 years ago.
For some reason, I expected the Brandenberg gate to be a freestanding monument with nothing nearby for like 100 feet. Not the case. The American Embassy is being built (rebuilt?) on the left side of it, and something else is on the right. It was one of those things like the Eiffel Tower- a little surreal to see, and possibly disappointing, but not really.
On the way back to the train we stopped at something I noticed on the way to the Gate (My Friend said she would explain on the way back). I saw a lot of what looked like stone/smooth concrete coffins, almost. Turns out it was the Memorial to the Six Million Jews Who Died in the Holocaust. The site is the size of two soccer fields, and has over 2,000 stone slabs set into the ground at varying heights. The ground is also uneven, so there is a part where you are walking down, and the stones are getting taller and taller. I felt a lot of different things, not all of them the best, but having My Friend the tourguide (who is Jewish) helped me put perspective on things, once I had come to my own conclusions. She went straight to the other side, and let me wander around as long as I needed to. We then had a discussion about why the monument is what it is, what others think of it, and things like that. The most shocking thing I heard was that they began putting some anti-graffiti compound on the stones (because it's not a walled, armed-guarded monument) but then stopped when someone found out that the makers of the compound were the same makers of Zyklon-B. The company donated the rest of the anti-graffiti free of charge. It showed that good things do come out of bad (it wasn't their fault- there was nothing in the company's records to show...).
We did a little more shopping on Monday morning, then I caught a train home.... I did so much walking over the weekend, and it felt really good, actually. I was really glad I went while My Friend was still living there, and now I feel completely confident that I can go back by myself and have a fantastic time. Seeing as how I just got back tonight from Berlin, this post seems mostly descriptive, and not reflective. Reflection may come in the coming days...
Monday, 4 June 2007
The Value of Things
Money:
Ah, money... When I had my review on Friday, one of the glowing comments that was made was about how I understand the value of *things.* And by things, I mean money. My Boss was particularly effluent in his praise of my knowledge and understanding of what prices were set for performance tickets, and even more general than that, what day-to-day things cost, like lattes, train tickets and housing costs. I am comfortable operating on the GBP system, and somehow that shocks a lot of people.
More on money: I took a peek in the charity shop down the street today to see if they had any coffee tables in, and I walked past a bunch of televisions. Now, I'm going to get around to purchasing a televison someday, so I stopped to look. They had two gorgeous flat screen, hi-def tvs with stands, for 250 GBP each. They're normally three times that price. Then I look to my left and see the regular bulky old CRT televisions, one of which might have been 25", and it was only 60 GBP (but without a stand). Now, I know the flat screen televisons are on a HUGE discount, but isn't a 25" CRT tv for 60 GBP enough for me? I didn't get either one today, because I'm deciding whether I should splurge and buy the nice tv, instead of just getting something that's "good enough."
Things already committed to:
I'm going to visit a male friend in a foreign country this fall, and he made an offhand remark the other day to the effect of "wouldn't it be ironic if you were seeing someone and decided to cancel the trip?" Ha, very funny :-P In all seriousness, though, I wouldn't cancel- for two reasons: one, whoever I would potentially be seeing would have to at least tolerate ALL of my friends, as well as trust in me. Yes, I can see where someone might be upset that I was going to go away for a week and visit a friend who is the member of the opposite sex. But there are a lot of variables... and a lot of things to do to make it okay without having to cancel. Second reason, I made a commitment to visit; I don't think there's ever been a situation where I didn't keep a promise. It's okay that people put different values on things; I just put following through on commitments higher up on the list than others might. Are my standards and priorities out of whack?
Human physical contact:
I realised today that I haven't had a hug from someone since the 3rd of March this year (which was the day I left the United States). I used to wonder how people could live without a hug, and now I know- you just deal with it. But I want all of you to sit down and think about it for a moment- run through your day, or your week, and ask yourself: do I actually touch anyone? Do I get a hug? A pat on the back? A kick in the ass? Is it just the occasional business handshake? Do the results surprise you? I think there is an inexplicable value to this- contact can inflame, soothe, reassure...
That's really all I have for now. But what about you? ;-)
Ah, money... When I had my review on Friday, one of the glowing comments that was made was about how I understand the value of *things.* And by things, I mean money. My Boss was particularly effluent in his praise of my knowledge and understanding of what prices were set for performance tickets, and even more general than that, what day-to-day things cost, like lattes, train tickets and housing costs. I am comfortable operating on the GBP system, and somehow that shocks a lot of people.
More on money: I took a peek in the charity shop down the street today to see if they had any coffee tables in, and I walked past a bunch of televisions. Now, I'm going to get around to purchasing a televison someday, so I stopped to look. They had two gorgeous flat screen, hi-def tvs with stands, for 250 GBP each. They're normally three times that price. Then I look to my left and see the regular bulky old CRT televisions, one of which might have been 25", and it was only 60 GBP (but without a stand). Now, I know the flat screen televisons are on a HUGE discount, but isn't a 25" CRT tv for 60 GBP enough for me? I didn't get either one today, because I'm deciding whether I should splurge and buy the nice tv, instead of just getting something that's "good enough."
Things already committed to:
I'm going to visit a male friend in a foreign country this fall, and he made an offhand remark the other day to the effect of "wouldn't it be ironic if you were seeing someone and decided to cancel the trip?" Ha, very funny :-P In all seriousness, though, I wouldn't cancel- for two reasons: one, whoever I would potentially be seeing would have to at least tolerate ALL of my friends, as well as trust in me. Yes, I can see where someone might be upset that I was going to go away for a week and visit a friend who is the member of the opposite sex. But there are a lot of variables... and a lot of things to do to make it okay without having to cancel. Second reason, I made a commitment to visit; I don't think there's ever been a situation where I didn't keep a promise. It's okay that people put different values on things; I just put following through on commitments higher up on the list than others might. Are my standards and priorities out of whack?
Human physical contact:
I realised today that I haven't had a hug from someone since the 3rd of March this year (which was the day I left the United States). I used to wonder how people could live without a hug, and now I know- you just deal with it. But I want all of you to sit down and think about it for a moment- run through your day, or your week, and ask yourself: do I actually touch anyone? Do I get a hug? A pat on the back? A kick in the ass? Is it just the occasional business handshake? Do the results surprise you? I think there is an inexplicable value to this- contact can inflame, soothe, reassure...
That's really all I have for now. But what about you? ;-)
Friday, 1 June 2007
The Review
I had been feeling sorta off all week, and yesterday three separate people asked me if I was okay. And yeah, I felt pretty bad, but couldn't figure out why until this morning- hooray for sleeping in (I swapped shifts with The Supervisor, because she told me I looked like hell and needed sleep). It was because I was stressed out! I can't believe it took me all week to figure that out. That's the difference between working at My Former Employer vs. where I work now. I still love my job, but there's just too much of it at the moment. So I'm looking at what I can delegate, and I'm trying to avoid doing other departments' work for them! All will be better soon, I'm sure.
So on to today... only the one meeting, thank goodness. And it's usually fun, even it it *is* at my expense (it's the weekly "make fun of Kathleen because she's from America" meeting- oh, how I'll get them back when we head to Arizona!). My Boss wants me to use my southern redneck voice for an entire meeting someday.
Anyway, the meeting is wrapping up, and My Boss says "can I have a word with you?" Now, in my previous job, that was NEVER a good sign. So that, combined with being stressed out, made me sweat a little. And then he says "I have to do your three-month review." Shit! a) I've been here three months already, and b) I knew I had to go through a three month review, but I didn't know it would be *today*. We find a corner and sit down. He explains that it's the informal one (I have a formal one at six months, then I'm off probation- all standard procedure). He asks me about any problems I might be having, and I raised an issue that had been ongoing, sort of, but that was about it. I'm then waiting for him to say what he thinks of my job performance (if you ask me what I'd grade myself, I'd do a solid C: not great, but not bad, either). My Boss had nothing but good things to say. I was shocked. He mentioned how he loved that I was integrating the Sales Office with the rest of the building, and not letting it turn into an island. Mentioned my operating with grace under pressure. That he liked the attitude in the box office- loose but able to crack on with things and get the job done. And that when I'm at work I work my ass off, but I also make sure I take time for myself, and I make sure others use their holiday time as well. He was amazed that I've adjusted so thoroughly and well to life in general... it was really strange to hear all of these good, positive things when I've been thinking less than perfect thoughts about my work performance.
After the whole what's going well/what's not segment, My Boss asked if I thought there was anything I needed training on, managerial-wise, because he'd make sure I got some if I thought I needed it. And he said "what do you need from me? How can I support you better, because I've been doing a poor job so far." And I laughed. Any of you who were around for my former job would know that a question like this would never even get asked! So we decided on weekly meetings would be fine- we've been saying for a long time that we need to do that, and never get around to scheduling them in. As we were getting up to leave, I said something about my 6 month review, and My Boss said "oh, don't worry about that, we won't let you go anywhere."
This is new territory for me- a job I really enjoy, people I enjoy working with, and a boss that is actually interested in training and support. I'm relishing it. And because things are good on the work front, it leaves me free to focus on how to improve upon the personal/social, which I'd put a lot of work into before I left Connecticut. Now if I didn't lack willpower/motivation to follow through!...
So on to today... only the one meeting, thank goodness. And it's usually fun, even it it *is* at my expense (it's the weekly "make fun of Kathleen because she's from America" meeting- oh, how I'll get them back when we head to Arizona!). My Boss wants me to use my southern redneck voice for an entire meeting someday.
Anyway, the meeting is wrapping up, and My Boss says "can I have a word with you?" Now, in my previous job, that was NEVER a good sign. So that, combined with being stressed out, made me sweat a little. And then he says "I have to do your three-month review." Shit! a) I've been here three months already, and b) I knew I had to go through a three month review, but I didn't know it would be *today*. We find a corner and sit down. He explains that it's the informal one (I have a formal one at six months, then I'm off probation- all standard procedure). He asks me about any problems I might be having, and I raised an issue that had been ongoing, sort of, but that was about it. I'm then waiting for him to say what he thinks of my job performance (if you ask me what I'd grade myself, I'd do a solid C: not great, but not bad, either). My Boss had nothing but good things to say. I was shocked. He mentioned how he loved that I was integrating the Sales Office with the rest of the building, and not letting it turn into an island. Mentioned my operating with grace under pressure. That he liked the attitude in the box office- loose but able to crack on with things and get the job done. And that when I'm at work I work my ass off, but I also make sure I take time for myself, and I make sure others use their holiday time as well. He was amazed that I've adjusted so thoroughly and well to life in general... it was really strange to hear all of these good, positive things when I've been thinking less than perfect thoughts about my work performance.
After the whole what's going well/what's not segment, My Boss asked if I thought there was anything I needed training on, managerial-wise, because he'd make sure I got some if I thought I needed it. And he said "what do you need from me? How can I support you better, because I've been doing a poor job so far." And I laughed. Any of you who were around for my former job would know that a question like this would never even get asked! So we decided on weekly meetings would be fine- we've been saying for a long time that we need to do that, and never get around to scheduling them in. As we were getting up to leave, I said something about my 6 month review, and My Boss said "oh, don't worry about that, we won't let you go anywhere."
This is new territory for me- a job I really enjoy, people I enjoy working with, and a boss that is actually interested in training and support. I'm relishing it. And because things are good on the work front, it leaves me free to focus on how to improve upon the personal/social, which I'd put a lot of work into before I left Connecticut. Now if I didn't lack willpower/motivation to follow through!...
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